Wednesday, February 9, 2011
I am passionately apathetic
I am super affectionate with both my girlfriend and my son. I always have a blast when I'm around my friends. I'm always known as the loud guy, the entertainer. However, when no one is around, I realize I'm completely silent and make a frownie face. In my solo hours I tend to read or play video games, I never laugh out loud, or get excited unless someone else is around. Example: When I'm playing a game and doing badly, I would usually soldier on without getting upset, when I'm doing well, I continue to play to the best of my ability. When my girlfriend or brother or guest is watching, though... I become vocally aggressive in either scenario. A hearty "EAT SHIT BITCH!" for either scenario is not unheard of. That makes a sort of psychological pseudo-sense, because now attention is on my actions, and my performance might be judged or something. However when I'm reading I notice that I'll "Oh....wow!" or laugh or something if someone is present. It's like it's important that I display how into what I'm doing. Maybe I'm just crazy in the coconuts.