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Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Well, we all knew it would happen.

Apparently by asking my friends to visit and support my blog, I violated the terms and conditions of AdSense's agreement, and they denied my appeal arguing to the contrary. Filthy thieves!

Wednesday, February 23, 2011


A fresh blog looks like it's in the making, don't think the appeal is going to go over. It is doable, tho.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

The world can be a jerk sometimes

Gritting my teeth in anger can be pretty neat, at least. Makes me sound like Clint Eastwood! Seriously, though. If AdSense stops being douchey, I'll update more regularly, if not, I'll move to bing's setup.

Thanks to everyone

Thanks to everyone who tried to help support me, but if my appeal fails, I'm going to move my blog to a provider who doesn't have a bureaucratic appeals process to get back money that should be mine.

Friday, February 18, 2011

I should have known better

Just when I was really proud of my ramblings gaining the following of my friends and family, AdSense pulled their support from my site... I haven't violated any terms of service or done anything wrong. I'm appealing, but I think they're just going to delete my account and deny my money. Original content isn't worth dick on the internet anymore, I should have guessed they'd scam me.


You know you're a nerd when on your wild bachelor party antics end with a lot of pot and a game of Magic: The Gathering. I miss both of them on a regular basis :(

Wednesday, February 16, 2011


Almost up to two weeks worth of blogification, thanks to everyone reading and supporting me by clicking ads! I will be attending a sleazy bachelor party soon, so maybe I'll have an awesome-good or awesome-terrible anecdote coming up! (probably awesome-terrible)

Rock out with your work ethic out

Shipping out to work. I don't mind my job, it's easy, I work with friends, and I work hard, so I don't get hassled by The Man. If I could get more hours(impossible) or a raise(also impossible) I would do it for ever. Sometimes a lack of stress is worth more than money. Until the bills come, then you're just stressed at the lack of money.

Life in the only sub-tropical continental state

There's a smell you can only get in Florida. When it's morning, warm, and raining. Wet pines and palms, vines and shrubs. It makes me want to sneeze, but it's nice all the same.

The other smell you can probably only get in Florida is the tire-fire tang of methlab mixed with savory fried mullet. That one is less impressive.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Things I did today:

I did several things today, it was relatively productive, so I will now list some of those things, in no particular order... phrased as though they were euphemisms for adult activities.

Went down a trail
Checked myself for ticks
Ordered the Chicken
Visited The Grandma


As a fairly oblivious heterosexual male, I never thought I had 'gay-dar', and maybe I watched too much Shameless recently... but I'm pretty sure the Indian fella at the local gas station is in the closet.

Your civic duty.

There are a lot of good policemen out there. There are honest and decent politicians, mechanics, and insurance agents. The ones you have to look out for are the ones who think about their career before anything else. Know your rights. Innocent or guilty, do not talk to any law enforcement officer without an attorney or public defender present. NOTHING YOU SAY CAN HELP YOU, it's not legally allowed, ANYTHING YOU SAY CAN AND WILL BE USED AGAINST YOU, even if you say it on accident. Your rights as an American citizen prevent them from FORCING YOU to be used as a witness against yourself, if you admit anything or sign anything, you are WAIVING YOUR FIFTH AMENDMENT, and ALLOWING them to proceed. If it's a good and decent police officer, they might be mildly annoyed that you pulled the 5th amendment card, but if they're just out to fuck you for the brownie points, you might have very well saved your ass. If you are NOT INNOCENT and beyond REASONABLE DOUBT proven guilty, nothing you say can help you anyway, and might deny you options you don't know you have. You hear people say "It's your civic duty to help", part of that is observing that your rights and the rights of others aren't trampled upon in someone's quest for a promotion. You are allowed to observe and record police action from a safe, non-invasive difference, as long as you don't interfere. A cell camera and a quick blurted instruction of "plead the fifth, wait for a lawyer" will not get you anything more than ass chewing. If a spiteful local officer harasses you, that is both immoral and illegal, and if you can feel that you're being followed or paid special attention to because you acted as a witness for someone's arrest/ticketing/etc, or because you escaped punishment by being smart, attempt to receive any free(or as much as you can afford) legal advice.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Maybe it's a Southern thing/thang?

I fucking love you bitches. My friends have been trying to click my ads and read my nonsense when they get a chance... it's added up to the cost of a box of diapers so far! I've never been blessed with skill, ability, money, or luck. What I have been rich in... is the best friends and family(most of em, anyway) you could ever want. I described my lifestyle in terms of long term investment once. Some people want power, fame, money or sex... so they spend time and effort for careers, training, appearance, and so on and so forth. I invested my time in building and maintaining social currency. I try to let people know I think of them, love them, and remember them when I can. I might not have wealth or fame or power or live a glamorous lifestyle... but they life I do lead is filled with love and laughs and good times.

Once again, I love you all so very much, even if you can't/don't/won't show it back ;)

Saturday, February 12, 2011


I bought a yard sale bike for my chunky ass. It's garish and cheap, just like existence! No, for really-really-reals, I need some way to get around till me and the missus get our returns in and buy a beater. My library is pretty close, so I'll continue riding it down there for sporadic, ineffective exercise. Nothing screams 'American Economy' like a grown-ass man riding his yard sale bike to rent free DVDs from the library.

(PS click my ads to help a starving artist!)

(PPS by 'starving artist' I mean fat guy with no money or talent)

Friday, February 11, 2011

Amazing. Simply amazing.

Despite being a computer aficionado and long time internet cretin, before today, I have never ACTUALLY made money on the internet! My blog revenues now total enough that Google has to send me money, it's very exciting. You know, only... 10 dollars-exciting, but still exciting! Read my stuff, click my ads, or even both! Reward my vanity or greed, whichever!

To herald this triumphant feat of lazy entrepreneurship, I will now post a picture of something.

Some kind of berry bush that grows in my yard. It's probably toxic or hallucinogenic or otherwise dangerous, because my son fucking beelines for it the minute he gets outside. He has an impressive ability to home in a shit he shouldn't play with.

Don't worry, this Bee-log won't be political in nature if I can help it!

I'm not going to proselytize, my political views work for me, and I live a very unique life. I will say, for the record, that I'm a registered Libertarian, and lately I've had mixed feelings about my party, and American politics in general. As a Libertarian, I've been happy to watch as the party get more acknowledgement and gain a legitimate presence and following in the socio-political brawl of American culture. I am also saddened that a relatively small and mostly logical group of people swelled in numbers and already started a rather extreme splinter group known as the Tea Party. It seems like the focus is a little off our rights and freedoms as citizens and more about the financial side of fighting government shenanigans, but the Tea Party, at it's heart, is still basically a Conservative Libertarian cross section of crazy old rich white folks. Conservative and rich, to me, usually just means they want to protect the lifestyle they've gotten into. That's not inherently a bad thing, and anyone would protect their interests. The problem as I see it is that when big money gets involved in a belief, movement, or set of values... it either it sways the direction of that belief to focus on protecting it's financial assets, or it corrupts the movement completely, giving outside forces cause to tap into it and pervert it. As a platform based on the notion of Liberty, the Constitution, and the importance of the Citizen, I had always hoped the power of the Libertarian agenda would be backed by people, and lots of them. Not superstars, talking heads, and bank accounts.

I was wary of the Tea Party, and most people not actively a member of that group seem to view them as potentially dangerous idealists at best, but I will say this. Even a misguided, misshapen clock can be right twice a day.

Obama(whom I'm actually not particularly against or for) made a big deal of this health care bill. I didn't like it, I don't support it, and even if I benefited from it, I would be against it on principle.

For the less political savvy reader, I'll break it down by spin:

The Good Side Of The Argument:
Healthcare companies will no longer be able to deny anyone healthcare
Yes, this is a good thing, one of the most glaringly immoral facets of our healthcare system will be dealt with

The Bad Side Of The Argument:
You HAVE to pay for healthcare, and they will take money from you if you don't get it, on top of that, by the time the positive effects for people with pre-existing conditions comes into effect, people will have already suffered and died from those ailments. The ones who survive still have to deal with the fact that their premiums are most likely going to be sky high. 

I'm fucking poor. I don't mean I have to turn off my plasma TV at night, clean my own pool, and cut coupons to make sure I have a good retirement... I'm a 27 year old father and I haven't made more than $12,000 in a year since I started working when I was seventeen. When I say I'm poor... I mean I don't have a car, and when I did, I could rarely pay insurance and my other bills. I'v been able to survive, have a roof over my head, and take care of my son through the grace of a very loving and loyal group of friends and family. If I could afford health care at all, I would have it. I don't have any pre-existing conditions(that I know of) I just don't have health insurance or life insurance because by the time I've bought diapers/wipes, juice/food for my boy,  groceries, secured gas money or bus passes, and paid my rent and utilities... I have enough money left for cigarettes and MAYBE a bit on the side for a splurge meal at a fast food chain. So besides the fact that it's un-Constitutional for the government to MAKE you pay for something, it's impossible to squeeze blood from a stone. There are a lot of people with bigger paychecks but bigger problems who are basically in the same boat. What would happen to us if we stay in the same economic situation we're in for a while(extremely likely) or it gets worse(rather likely) and then this reform hits, and suddenly we owe more money than ever? Sure, the economy might improve(not very likely) and more people will get more money and better jobs(very, very unlikely) and it'll all pan out. Maybe I'm a pessimist, but my Mama always ground home 3 things: 

1: Take care of your family
2: Hope for the best, but plan for the worst
3: Star Trek is better than Star Wars

I agree with her on the first two. My mother was a saint, intelligent and kind, wise and loving. Her loyalty and ability to see the good in everything was tested though.... she could never accept that Deep Space Nine was the last good thing the series managed to produce until the recent movie. As a somber side note to that funny anecdote... my mother passed away from cancer the same year that movie came out. She was all but penniless, hit hard by the flaws in the mortgage AND healthcare circles. When ever I think about that situation I usually end up fuming mad or sobbing with regret. It's not melodramatic to say that if we had lived in a better time for this country, there is a good fucking chance that she would be alive today, and living in the house she bought and maintained by working her ass off.

This country's population; immigrant and native, rich and poor, left and right...  contributed bricks and wood, cement and steel, blood and sweat, tears and laughter. We carved it out, we furnished it, we moved in. Then we gave the keys to people who would burn it down to insure they never have to give up their quarter-million dollar bonuses. This land is yours, America... we should be taking care of it, nurturing it, and taking pride in what it gives back. Instead we left it to the overseers to sell from under us, and now that the weeds are waist high and nothing is being grown, your stomachs are starting to hurt and the rent is due... and it's going to take a lot of work to put things right.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Read Dearers:

I'm off to the workplace now, I work 3 hours a day for minimum wage because no one I can get to is hiring, and I don't have a car. My tax return will go towards buying a beater, which will then be used to apply to REAL jobs that don't involve making food for a largely un-appreciative public. Click on all the clever, useful ads I've provided out of the kindness of my heart, please. They provide you with useful and beneficial services... and provide me with money for groceries, vices, and baby supplies.

I'm so proud of you internet!'re learning to share! You gave me 4 dollars and 76 cents last night! I need to make 10 dollars before they'll even send it to me, though! If Google buys me a pack of cigarettes I will MAKE A VIDEO OF ME SMOKING IT! How's that for rewards, bitch!?!

Bloggggity blog blog. I fucking hate that word, but I'm doing it for money.(Like a boss.)

"Can you not hear the 'Go. Away.' in my voice sometimes, or do you just tend to ignore it?" - This will be the quote of the decade, and as such, will now be the name of my buh-lawg.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

I am passionately apathetic

I am super affectionate with both my girlfriend and my son. I always have a blast when I'm around my friends. I'm always known as the loud guy, the entertainer. However, when no one is around, I realize I'm completely silent and make a frownie face. In my solo hours I tend to read or play video games, I never laugh out loud, or get excited unless someone else is around. Example: When I'm playing a game and doing badly, I would usually soldier on without getting upset, when I'm doing well, I continue to play to the best of my ability. When my girlfriend or brother or guest is watching, though... I become vocally aggressive in either scenario. A hearty "EAT SHIT BITCH!" for either scenario is not unheard of. That makes a sort of psychological pseudo-sense, because now attention is on my actions, and my performance might be judged or something. However when I'm reading I notice that I'll "!" or laugh or something if someone is present. It's like it's important that I display how into what I'm doing. Maybe I'm just crazy in the coconuts.

Monday, February 7, 2011

I'll hug your genitals with my hand

So i set this bitch up to make money via the ads. I would like free money, pleeeease! Seriously, I got bills, homey, click a few ads so's I can gets paid. In the meantime, I'll dance for your amusement! *TAPPA TAPPA TAPPA*

Well then.

Since no one is going to read this... I'm just going to show my penis.


It's small.

Even on the internet :(

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Today I did very, very little.

Doing my for-really-real job makes me about 20 dollars a day. Minus about 7 bucks for gas. I keep afloat because I live with my girlfriend and a preposterous amount of roommates in a tiny house, so no one pays very much rent. I could blame it all on the job market, but really, I make enough to get by and I'm lazy, so I feel no impetus to do anything more. This, however, is a very bad way of thinking. I have a son, ladies and gentleman, and I love him very much. Path of least resistance only works until he's old enough to go to school and then the cost of living will skyrocket for me. I'm relatively clever and articulate, but I dropped out and received a GED when I was 17, and haven't done much beyond food service and dishwashing for the last 10 years of my life. I need a really big foot in a door somewhere. If you could market whimsy, sass, smarm, and arrogance I'd be buying all you son's-a-bitches cars, though. So take comfort in my theoretical charity.
I'd be a pretty awesome guy if I was able.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

First blog ever

This is my first blog ever. To cement the momentousness of this occasion, I decided I would first use the word 'Momentousness' and then overlay an ancient summoning special into my digitally represent words. Nothing major, just a small portal. Anyone reading this may feel some internal discomfort in their abdomen, more so for most males. As you read these words, you're basically unwittingly agreeing to an infernal pact in which you take on the responsibility of birthing a malformed half of a soul. If you stop reading before the end of the passage, however, you should notice a bloody discharge and a few lumps of gristle in your stool. Women will pass this through their uterus like a regular still born fetus, but it will still smell the same as a bowel movement. Hopefully you're not still reading if you don't understand the beauty and immensity of the task before you. In about 1 week of gestation, a snarling humanoid with proportions and features unique to your demonic birthing will burst from your stomach. No worries, the creature isn't fully formed, and it will inevitably get it's foul blood and weeping ichor on you, and your unique bond causes it to heal any damage sustained during 'birth'. You may name the disgusting beast whatever you wish, some grow up to ten feet tall with slavering razor-filled maws and powerful claws, so it is not recommended you name it something like "Fluffy" or "Amber". If, later on, you manage to best your monster child in a battle of wits and wills, it may choose to reveal it's True Name, a powerful thing, indeed!

Other than the money making scheme I've rigged up here, by the time you end this sentence you should have a mostly-formed daemonchild inside you, so have fun, be safe, and click my ads!